Posts tagged coaching

Rough Times – Leaders Needed More Than Ever

Aug08
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

What are rough times? For me, those were the times when in the corporate world everything was taking a downward spiral. Layoffs, cost cutting, restructuring and pretty much an upheaval of what was known as the norm. Are these times extremely difficult? Of course. Are there some positives to look at as well? Yes. Difficult and rough times are the times that leaders need to step up and really do some work. Turning those bad times into times that set a foundation for the future. This post is one that I want to focus my energy on that foundation… Give some tips and experience from what I have learned going into rough times…

How do you keep your folks motivated and working on what needs to be done? There have been many studies out there that say during rough times about 1/3 of the employees are engaged, 1/3 are looking for that next opportunity and the last 1/3 are not engaged. When you look at it from that standpoint, the simple facts are the engaged folks are staying for what they are doing, the disengaged folks are staying for what they get. Bottomline: when times do really turn around employees will be moving. We all know that the ones that you will probably lose will not be the ones you want to leave.

So, what should you do to really get everyone engaged in rough times? Keeping them motivated is definitely a challenge. Keeping them focused with all the uncertainty around them is difficult. Here are some of the things that I have experienced and shared over my time in those rough periods.

  • Communication - is definitely more important that ever. Maybe a better term would be to over-communicate. Being upfront and honest with your employees is critical. Think of the rumor mill or grapevine – during rough times it seems there is something need added every hour. You as the leader, need to address the fear! How do you do that – with open, honest and transparent communication.
  • Building relationship – taking that time to sit down with each employee and ask them what is on their mind. Find out where they are in the engaged, looking or disengaged category. Setting up regular 1:1 communications to address work, fears and concerns. Keeping them focused on the bigger picture, but not losing sight on their individual small pieces that make up the big picture.
  • Decision-making – insure that you, as the leader, are including everyone on the team in the decisions. Even to the point, of insuring that the lowest level are making those decisions that they should make. Rough times make it easy to have the decisions move up the ladder. Make a point, not to do that. Keep decisions where they should be.
  • Recognition - for the work that is getting done, especially in rough times. Many of the cuts and layoffs have passed the work of many to just a few… Take the time to come up with low cost “new” recognition for your team. People like to be rewarded for their hard work and efforts.
  • Check yourself – anyway you look at it, rough times can bring out the best and worst in people. Even yourself. Listen to yourself when in a critical or difficult situation. Are you acting yourself? If you are not right, you definitely will be demonstrating that to your employees.

Simple Reminder: For rough times (or not) – LISTENING, EMPATHIZE and CARING – you really can’t go wrong.


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Teacher Appreciation Week! What I have learned…

May02
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve
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Today kicks off Teacher Appreciation Week! I thought I would take this opportunity to share with you the lessons I have learned from teachers that apply to leadership. My wife has been teaching for awhile now.. She has been an outstanding teacher for many years (I am not bias in anyway). This feedback comes straight from the parents, other teachers, her administration and the fact that year after year her students come back to say hi or update her on their progress. Looking at what she does and how she does it is amazing. It got me thinking about some of the teachers I had when I was growing up and in college. So, here is a list of the things that I think leaders could learn from teachers:

  • Believe in their students. When did you do your best work? Most of the time you did your best work when you knew that your teacher, your boss or coach believed in you. Knowing that the person of influence believes in you makes it special to you. Your potential is tapped! My wife has high expectations of her students and she knows that they can do it (even if others don’t think so).
  • Care about their students success. Completely vested in the students success. I watch and listen to how much my wife cares about each student making progress or better yet exceeding standards. When the test scores come in – she is really excited to see their success. She also is a little disappointed (well, more than a little) when success is only at standard. She has to be reminded that look at the overall progress.
  • Love what they teach. The passion for teaching does not come from the money that is made! The passion comes from teaching subjects that they love. Sharing their passion for what they are doing to those that are in the classroom. Ever just sit in the back of a classroom and observe? Let me tell you the great teachers really excel are sharing their passion of that subject.
  • Make learning fun. I look at the creative ways that my wife takes lessons and makes them fun for the students. Learning can be fun! It does not have to be drill or ground and pound. Getting the lesson to be fun for the students sets up the learning experience better. For me, the best working environment is a fun environment. I want to come to that place…
  • Make learning very partical and useful. One small disclaimer – some subjects are much easier to do this with. The best teachers really explain what they are teaching in a way that the students understand. Once that lightbulb comes on – then that teacher knows they have a student hooked.

Watching my wife and other great teachers over the years, has helped me be better at leading my teams. I look at her classroom from the beginning of the year and thoughout the year til the end – look at the progress of the students, look at the maturity improvements and teamwork that is demonstrated – and say well done! Really, well done!

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Coaching Pitch

May01
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

Yesterday morning, I made my usual stop at Starbucks after spending some time at the gym. I got to witness (overhear) a set of parents, their son and a potential youth football coach talking about stuff. Being a coach, for a very long-time, I really love to listen to coaches do their thing. This situation has happened to me many of times, so I thought why not sit and listen to a younger coach. I know, I was listening in on a very important discussion between a coach, parents and the player sitting there (in the middle of Starbucks). Should I have listened in? Probably not, because what I overheard really made me a bit angry. The young coach was probably doing what he thought would impress the parents enough to let their son play for him. From my vantage point, I saw a huge miss. (Let me apologize now for the length of this post, but I think it is worth it!)

Here are some of the topics:

  • The young coach was talking up his resume. From his younger playing days to high school… How he was a star high school athlete that just did not get any breaks to get a scholarship to play in college. I shortened it quite a bit… He moved to his coaching resume. Which consisted of assistant coaching at one of the local youth leagues and the past 2 as a head coach.
  • I was hoping to see if the parents would ask him for his coaching philosophy, but he sort of led them to it (in a round about way). He discussed how difficult the first year was – with not getting to really pick his team. He was handed a very rough and low in talent team. They did not win a game. The second year was
    better as he was really doing more scouting and recruiting of players to play for him. This year, he promised that he will win it all. He has that much talent.
  • Next up, the young coach circled back to his playing days. He was going to use what he did in high school to pass onto his players now. From looking at the family and their son, I think he was in 5th or 6th grade. Are they really ready?
  • The discussion overall, to me, was a sales job of picking that coach…

As said before I have been a coach for a very long time… When meeting parents of players and players – I have developed a short overall talking points to what to expect. Here is an overall breakdown:

  • Introduction – Simple who I am, where I come from, my experience (only the number of years or certifications) in playing, referee and coaching, and how I am excited to offer my experience to their children.
  • Coaching philosophy – I believe that it is my honor to be teaching the game that I love. I want my players to love the game and want to keep coming back, year after year. The overall experience is important. It is much more than the X’s and O’s.
    Safety is #1. Placing education and character development ahead of any wins. Our practices will both help the player master their sport, but most of all build confidence in their abilities (both in sports and in life).
  • Next up – I will discuss with the players in the room – their responsibilities.. Simple list of: Show up on-time. 40 minutes before practice and 1 hour before game time (since this is hockey – there is dressing time besides coach talk). Be ready to work hard. Be respectful to players, coaches, referee’s and parents at all
    times. Keep your grades up (parents can use hockey as a tool for keeping grades up, all I ask is, have them come to games (they get to sit on the bench) to see what they are missing). Don’t ever have a repeat offender – when they sit and watch.
  • Lastly – I discuss the parent responsibilities! This is important.. Simple list just like the players.. Of course, most of the players I have coached – don’t drive. So, the parents get the same be on-time. I usually talk about the zero tolerance policy (which is a bit more detailed than be respectful to players, coaches, referee’s and parents at all times). Since they know I will support them with grades or behavior issues – they just need to let me know. Please refrain from coaching your young athlete on the way to and from games. This one is tough for me, as I am a coach, but trust me – leave the ride to and from the game for “other” things. Lastly, if something is not going well – with practice, game situation or anything with me or my coaches, please do not confront the situation at the rink. Call me, email me and we can set up some time to meet or discuss on the phone. Cooler heads all the way around. Players, coaches and parents get into the heat of the battle of a game. The player is usually over with it, right after the game. Adults take more time to cool down.

I don’t usually talk about winning championships or titles or trophies, those are not what this is about. Sports to me, is about learning teamwork, physical exercise, applying sports to life lessons and building character. I want to provide the best experience for each of the players and parents that I get the privilege to coach. If you happen to win, well, treat that like having and eating your cake too…

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My Manager Musts

Apr06
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

Over the years, I have learned some important things to do and not to do. Managing people has been a learning experience. When I was a new manager, almost every situation I encountered was new. I stumbled through them sometimes, but I can safely say, I learned something from each situation. Some of my managers were good sources of my experiences. Some of them offered the “don’t do this” variety, but those are key lessons to take with me. So, what are the major things I have learned in all these years of managing people? What have I shared with other managers? I have written on almost all of them (see hyperlinks). Here are the things that I have in my toolbox of managing people:

  • Your job is to remove roadblocks for your staff. This is one key that many managers forget. What do you really offer your staff that they can not get on their own? Roadblock remover! Sometimes the manager gets in the way. If that is true, get moving.
  • Set expectations. Giving your staff the opportunity to help set expectations is very powerful. Giving them the end point, gives them vision into what needs to be done. Don’t tell them how to do it. See the first one…
  • Empower them. I know this one is a lot of lip service. Truly empower them is giving them the authority, confidence and the space to get the job done. Sounds easy… Make it happen, you will be rewarded more from your staff with this one.
  • Never give someone a task, you wouldn’t do. Let’s face it sometimes there are crappy tasks that need to be done.. Don’t be afraid to say that, “I know this is a crappy task. I am sorry, but I really need you to get it done.” Helps..
  • Problems occur, address them ASAP. In a previous post, I wrote about conflict. Well, those problems don’t usually go away. Stand up and acknowledge there is a problem. Respectfully address it.
  • Praise in public. Critique in private. If you must critique, make sure that it is about the professional part of the job. Stay away from the personal. Everything must tie to what is happening back on the job. Your behavior in this situation caused this to be missed, that to slipped or whatever happened  in their job. Setting the stage is critical.
  • Let them speak (or vent). Give them the opportunity to let of some steam if necessary. Listen, you could hear something that is going on, that you were unaware of. Too many times, I have heard a managers voice and not my own. Those don’t work well.
  • Respect their time. I had a manager that was late to everything. His time management was terrible. For me, I felt that my time was not important. My time and their time is important!
  • Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.” I don’t know everything.. The worse thing you could do is make something up. A simple, “I don’t know, but let me find out” works best.
  • No surprises. Don’t blindside your staff members. A performance appraisal should not be the first time someone hears there is a problem. You should be communicating all the time. Here is more deeper thoughts in this area.
  • Never micromanage. Again, another past post of mine. For me, micromanaging is the worst behavior any manager can do. Give your people room to work!
  • Finding the “right” people to work in your team. Your team is key to your success. Finding the right people to work together is critical. Sometimes the person with the most experience is not the best fit for the job
  • Mistakes happen, just not the same mistake over and over. No one is perfect, so when a mistake happens, learn from it and don’t let it happen again. I always use the first one is on me… Have a positive outlook and control
  • Blame is useless. I have had managers that are looking for the “who” to blame. I would rather find out what happened and make sure that it doesn’t happen again. See the above one.
  • You set the example of your staff to follow. Your staff is a mirror of yourself. You don’t like what you see, then you change.
  • You are nothing without them. It is a funny thing, when you go on vacation or are out sick, the work gets done… If you staff is all out on vacation or sick – nothing gets done.

There probably are more to add.. Everyday as a manager is a learning experience. Take this list, use what you want and add some of your own. Either way, your staff will appreciate it.

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New Managers – Learn This One Early

Mar24
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

Looking back at my experiences as a new manager and some of the difficulties that no one can prepare you for I remember one in particular. It center on getting your people (team) to work as a team. My very first gig was on graveyard shift working in manufacturing with 20 direct reports. I was the new manager and had been doing “their” job on day shift. I pretty much was an expert or “ace doer” within that particular area. I could run anything well, I exceeded my goals and had superb quality to boot! I didn’t lack in confidence either. Well, I was promoted to manager… Yeah! I was looking forward to the challenge of making graveyard shift #1. Well, that task was definitely met with some resistance. I took over a shift of people that I did not hire, did not know and was challenged by them everyday. One of the very first things I noticed were the shift was not functioning or acting as a team. In fact, they had more conflicts or personality clashes than I had ever seen before. I wanted to get out and help train and coach each employee in being the best at what “I” did as one of them, but could not get that started until I get them to work as a team first.

The amount of time that I spent on working on personality conflicts or conflicts in general was high. These discussions take time and sometimes the benefits of that time are very low. As a new manager, you want to demonstrate to those that promoted you, that you can deliver. Getting through the conflict hurdle was going to be tough. What do you do? Here is what I did…

  • Timing – as a new manager it is tough to know when you should step in. Some conflict is okay. Knowing when to step in is critical. If you step in for every little thing – your people will just use this as an opportunity to have you run in circles. Don’t step in and your risk having the situations go too far and never be repairable. Over time, as a new manager, you will get better at it. Just keep notes on how you handled each situation and how you could do better next time.
  • Start Up Meetings – time away from running your equipment in manufacturing is limited, but you need that time. I used to have daily start up meeting to communicate what was hot, what the focus was and to have one employee share something about themselves. I called it, what do you like to do away from work? What is important to you? 2 minutes of sharing went a long way for people to get to know each other. After the first month, we would just do a quick round robin on what the weekend brought to each other or anything important! It worked…
  • Find the “few” that are the real issue – I think we all know that there are a few folks that are the majority of the problem. After watching, learning and coaching the team – I was able to find those folks that were the real problem. Now you can spend quality time on the “real” issues. Through coaching, discipline  or flat out removal – whatever it takes to show the team you mean business. Do it! Sometimes a good termination will have a very long lasting effect. At the very least the team will see that you are willing to do what it takes to keep the team a team.
  • Hiring – One thing a manager can do (when the opportunity is available) is bring in the best people for their team. Part of my interview process was to insure that I had a person that would fit into the make-up of my current team (with a few things that will move the team forward). If you bring in a loner or a disruptive force to your team, get ready to be back in the conflict resolution business.

Let’s face it, people will always have some sort of conflict. Tight schedules, working closely together for long periods of time, bad days or whatever can easily help add to conflict. You as the manager just need to act, when necessary and effectively to keep the team working together. Your success as a manager is tied to your team. Don’t ever forget that!

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Effective One on One Communications

Feb14
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

After 20+ years of managing and working in corporate America, no one will argue that communicating with your direct reports is not important. One on One communications is the life blood of coaching, mentoring and developing the boss/employee relationship. Why is it, that many managers fail at this? Or employee’s just don’t want them? Could it be that the sessions are just not effective? Over those 20+ years, I hate to think how many of those one on one’s I have led or attended as the direct report. I do know I have had some great, good and terrible one’s.

Here are my very simple steps to making sure that these sessions are effective:

Agenda’s set in advance: Normally the one on one was the employee’s meeting (in my last employer) and they had to have an agenda. I have found that agenda’s are the first critical step. Know what is going to be discussed sets up the meeting in the right way. Some of the worst one on one’s were those that had no agenda. One point that I would make is, the agenda needs to be sent to the manager at least 24 hours in advance. This way, the manager has time to prepare.

Be prepared: Both the employee and manager need to be prepared! Prepared to discuss what is on the agenda without holding back. When the discussion is guarded, no one wins. Having the agenda ahead of time, helps the manager to be prepared to discuss in more detail. Being put on the spot sometimes can be damaging to the relationship. The one explain that really used to get me fired up as an employee was… My question would be something like, “how is my performance to date?”  The answer back, “keep doing what you are doing.” Two things come to mind… First, my agenda was probably not looked at ahead of time because the manager was not prepared… Or worse, this manager has no idea what I am doing – I have basically been goofing off the past month…

Set up meeting frequency regularly: Maybe it is me, but having a regular cadence and basic discussion topics insures successful discussions during the one on ones. Basic discussion topics are overall performance, professional development, help needed, coaching and general discussions. Not every topic can be accomplished every time.. Set up the meetings in the right cadence (every 2 weeks maybe) and have certain basic topics preset..

Listen: Better yet, effective listening… Make sure that this meeting is really about your direct report. This is one of those critical times where you as the manager get to really learn and help develop the employee/manager relationship. Listening helps you learn!

Follow-up: Sometimes the one on one will be so successful that the employee and manager may have some stuff that needs to get done outside of the session. Don’t forget to follow-up! Successful sessions get people excited and really to take on whatever is in front of them. Forgetting to follow-up, just demonstrates the words were just that words… Actions speak much louder!

Sounds simple, it truly is.

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Get Connected!

Jan31
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

Effective Leadership, to me, requires a true commitment to serve both the organization’s mission/vision and the people that you are responsible for leading. Both are needed and essential. Individuals who don’t demonstrate that they care about the people will never be true leaders. Frankly, they should not be in a position of leadership. I have seen many in my career. I bet, you reading this – you are thinking of the leaders or managers that you have and thinking – that is someone you can remember. When you are thinking of this person – you can almost pinpoint their mistakes. Either not caring about the organization’s mission/vision (which is rare) or the people they are supposed to be leading (usually the case). For those people, they may have short term success, but over time they fail.

There is a way to correct this… It takes leaders at the top of the organizations to do some work. Having a way to measure their managers on employee engagement (I mean their ability to connect) and hold each other accountable. Many companies may survey the managers people within a set of “management” questions. That could work, if the questions were designed to measure connectedness of the manager. For me, there is no substitution to getting out and listening to the managers people. Truly listening with deep understanding.. When it has become apparent that the leader is failing to meet the standard, help them with coaching, mentoring and development. The problem that I see almost all the time is improvement plans start but never finish. Identifying the problem is only part of the solution. All to often change rarely happens. That is where accountability has to come in. If then, they prove to be unable to connect with the people they manager, they should NOT be in leadership roles.

For individuals and organizations to be successful, everyone must be firm on balancing their time that is spent on managing task and connecting with the people (each other). If too much time spent on either side is unhealthy and frankly leads to poor performance. I have seen this work.. A leader investing time connecting with people, the people give their best efforts, focus on what is needed and help each other. The team will be more open to sharing their knowledge and opinions. The team will start to fuel more ideas, innovate and make breakthroughs. A much better place to be (as a leader and member of the organization).

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Coaching Youth Sports – Debate…

Jan19
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

Ever just watch a high school football, basketball or baseball game? What were you first impressions?  Ever go to one of those games and see a complete whitewash or blow out? You know, where one team is far superior in every way over the other. What were your emotions? I have coached for many years in youth sports, all the way up to high school level. I have been involved on both sides of winning big and losing big. When I see scores that are so far apart, I just wonder, “what are the coaches doing?” In this area there are two schools of thought. You have those that say, you should never run the score up on an opponent; or sorry, maybe they should practice hard or work harder not to have that happen. For me, it just depends on the situation…

I for one am not a proponent of running up the score on a less-talented team. Nor am I in favor of going after individual or team scoring records. I believe that once the game has started, I as the coach, have to evaluate the game and where this is heading. If I know, I have an opponent completely out matched, I do change how I approach the rest of the game. It does not mean that I tell my players not to give 100%. It means that I may change up my player combinations or demand the team to involve more of the lesser skilled players in the game. Does that hurt the overall team? I don’t believe that it does. I would argue that expanding your playing time to those that normally get less (and having them work with higher skilled players) makes your overall team stronger. What really frosts my cookies, is when a coach is not attempting to use all of his players - his/her first team gets all the playing time. When we do score, we don’t go over-the-top with a celebration, we act like you have done it before. I have definitely had a few of those games where I was on the losing end. I again have to re-evaluate my approach to the game. I will try to motivate my players to keep them working hard, keep them focus on their performance and everything that they control. Win one play at a time, so to speak. Build on those successes for next time. Afterwards, my practice planning and focus will be on where we really need to get better based on past performances. Some of the best learning situations come from failure.

Coaching sports is something that I have loved to do over the years. I have heard from many of my players parents that we could have easily have doubled that score if we did not let up on the opponents throat. I usually answer that with, we did not let up, we just changed our approach. I also add, “what benefit would it be to the team to do that? We won and we won be a lot, doubling it who benefits?”  The simple answer I normally got was, our scoring leaders would have more points, which could get them a scholarship. My answer to that is, “maybe, maybe not; I don’t think it matters that much to him/her as they were helping their team mates be better.”

I always look for life lessons in sports. Winning big or losing big happens in sports and in life. How we do that is more important than the actually outcome. People says that we are getting to be a nation of wussies. We care too much about people’s feelings. Well, maybe that is true. I believe that as a coach it is my responsibility to have my team prepared to play well and get the job done. Putting a little bit more emphasis on how we accomplish getting the job done when adversity happens or when it is too easy – helps. For the players that have played for me, over those many years, I bet they would not argue that fact. Some would have wished that I let them accomplish some scoring titles or stuff like that, but I hope that they learned how to win with grace and sportsmanship.

I would like your take on it!

Posted in Hockey, Observations - Tagged , , , , ,

Developing Your People

Nov16
2010 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

New to Management Series – Part 4..

The last part of being a new manager is something that does not come natural to most people. Developing your people is something that is critical. How you are developing your people will go a long way to how those very people will remember you as a manager. There are two basic steps that must be address when you are developing your people – feedback and coaching.

Look we have been learning our people, we have mutually agreed upon expectations and we have been monitoring their work – the next step is providing feedback. When I look back upon my days of working for managers, the ones that I feel have helped me the most have provided me meaningful feedback. The key there is meaningful. As a manager, you will need to really think about what is the message that you are trying to delivery, how best to deliver it and how was it received. Take the time to develop your style in providing meaningful feedback. Watch out for these pitfalls:

  • BUT Sandwich – mixed messages! See the post from yesterday. Keep praise separate from constructive feedback.
  • Miss or incorrect information. Make sure that you have enough details to point out what is going on.
  • No documentation.. Write up the discussions and the new commitments.

True developing of your people is focused on their career development. How do you best accomplish this? Coaching! Some may think that this is what feedback is for, I beg to differ. Feedback may start a coaching opportunity – because it is a two way conversation. It helps by providing you some examples of opportunities for longer term growth. I look at most feedback to be tactical and short term in nature.

The coaching model I like to use is very simple:

  • Starting off with Inquire and Listen. Listen is an art in and of itself. Inquire about their challenges, what they want to accomplish longer term. Inquire about their perspective! You must listen.. This really builds the relationship.
  • Next up, Discuss and Understand. Active listen will lead you to convey that you understand their challenges or goals. You get to offer your assessment as the manager (could be a new perspective). As the manager, you need to check to ensure your people understand your perspective. Working together to really establish that two way trust.
  • Time to Act and Collaborate. All the discuss should lead to a jointly defined best course of action. As the manager you want to make sure that everything is clear (using SMART goals) and provide encouragement and support. If all is working together – then generating results should be seen.

Key Tip: Feedback is needed for immediate performance for both positive and constructive (never mix the two together). Coaching and career development conversations develop longer term capability. Coaching leaves a very lasting impression on your people.

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BUT Sandwich – Keep It!

Nov15
2010 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

What is the BUT sandwich? I bet you have heard it before. Maybe you have used it, either knowingly or not. The BUT sandwich usually is a simple way to ease into providing feedback. Lay on some praise before delivering any criticism or feedback and then completely the process with a little more praise. Here is a very simple example, “You did a really good job on delivering you project on-time, BUT you should have paid more attention to cost. By the way, thanks for covering for me on vacation. See you get a sandwich - Praise, criticism and praise. For those of us that have heard it – Does it work? Are you confused by the conversation? What was going through your mind, when you were being delivered that BUT sandwich.

How do not do this? Here are a few tips to remember.

  • Focus the conversation on the Future rather than the past. Speed up to the part that helps get to the desired outcome in the future. Dwelling on the past, keeps everyone in the past.
  • Have a dialog. No one likes to sit through a lecture on what they are doing wrong. Brevity in this area is a virtue that your person will really appreicate. Don’t think that you can go into the feedback session that you can fix the person. Rather, think of it like a doctor – he usually asks questions first, diagnose the problem, before prescribing the solution. You have to search to understand. Maybe it is the decision is not any different than you assumed, but at least you showed good leadership in dealing with your employee. It could also help the employee to talk through it to understand better. Try it!
  • Silence is golden at times. The silence that is the space between the thoughts… It allows the employee to reflect and gather deeper insights. Same for you! At the very least it makes the feedback session feel like there is an air of calm. Should help for making the decision a more productive one.
  • This is your chance to grow the relationship. Requires some prep work on your part. Before meeting – think about how you will conduct the session to strengthen rather than fracture the relationship. Think about how you are going to discuss and act in the session – setting the tune. During the meeting – you have to listen and pay close attention to your actions (non-verbal communications). You have to make sure that you are working together on a win/win. You have to do your part, you are the leader.
  • Once a plan is worked – make sure that you have it broken into stages. Much like a project plan, there are some critical milestones. Know when they are coming and be ready to provide feedback on how everything is going. Coaching is a wonderful thing – this is your opportunity to shine.
  • Give praise along the way! The employee knows you are noticing and appreciate their efforts. Goes a long way to building the relationship.

All to often, I think that when the BUT sandwich is being used it is a way for us to helpful make sure that our folks like us. That causes us to keep some of the real criticism or feedback bottled up. Managers and leaders are here to get work done through people. The better the results – the better the team, the employees and the manager. If you have to have those difficult or tough discussion, then do it. Just remember to use the above (or develop a few more for yourself) and focus on the results…

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