We all have to start with a baseline , managers are the vehicle that turn intentions (mission, strategies and expectations) into results. I have been doing this for a lot of years, many of my peers have as well – we are getting ready to finish up our careers and pass the baton to others. So, what are my thoughts?

• Management is probably the best and most challenging job around. If you really want maximum impact – sign up now.
• Great managers really do what many will not try or do. It all starts with the choices that you make everyday. Those managers approach and blast away barriers. Don’t shy away from the difficult task of stopping busy work for the really important work.
• Management is a social act. Sitting in your office is not very social. You have to get out, have conversations and develop relationships. Simply put: erode relationships, erode results. Get out there and bring out the best in others.
• You are in the middle and much is expected of you. Too many times I have heard, “that is why you make the big bucks.” Completely understanding the expectation (from your manager and the needs of your team) will help you chart your path.
• Time is critical. Look at your inbox (unread), calendar, to do list and count the instant messages during the day. Each and everyone of those are opportunities to engage and excite. How are you spending your time? Would you change anything?  Great conversations are worth lots. Remember, relationships = results.

There has been much written on management over the years. There has never been any new silver bullet to being completely successful. What I learned over the years, is nothing new. Remember to spend time on yourself (learning, developing and listening). The true important part is – How you apply the learning’s and experiences.

New experiences come everyday. How do you usually handle them? I say, we usually form our opinion rather early on and act on our feelings first. As much as I like to think that I am very deliberate and cautious on these things, I am not. Meeting people for the first time, do you size up the person across from you? Do you draw on your experience with others to help understand this person better? Do you look at the company that this person keeps to help form some understanding? And yet, we have to remember not to judge the book by the cover…

Feelings are real.. If used properly they can help you make decisions or what course of action to take. Those feelings are your experiences and information that you have gathered! Use them wisely.

As a person that loves to people watch, observe situations and just plain listen to their surroundings. I feel confident that I can nail down the strengths and weaknesses of every leader that I have worked with over the years. Why you may ask? Simple, their words and actions are the window to the good, bad and the ugly. There is no hiding stuff. We all work with people, some of them are leaders (others are aspiring to become leaders). A control freak is pretty easy to spot… Spend a small amount of time with people and you can spot someone that is very controlling. Hey, that one is easy. How about when new ideas or alternative solutions are offered – ever just watch and listen? Come across a leader that becomes defensive to any of those ideas? This one takes some time and effort to really spot. Words and actions are everywhere.

No one is perfect. We each have the items that we excel at and of course the opposite end. Going back to myself and my teams and their observations. The strengths that I was told that I exhibit well are:

• Being real – We know exactly what you are thinking and doing – there is never any guess work involved.
• Stand up for your folks – No matter what the situation, no matter who is upset – we know you have our backs. Of course, if we “all” are wrong – we will deal with it together. Never has anyone ever been thrown under the bus.
•  Fair – you treat each as they need to be treated. Give each of us the ability to do our work with only coaching and mentoring – when needed. One person, came out and said – why do you never disagree with my recommendations? I had spent years, trying to tell this person – you do not need to bounce everything off of me. Trust yourself. So, I would just agree with whatever they recommended. Finally they saw the light!
• Set Expectations and Follow-up - Getting to the promise land of success – takes time in the planning and plotting the course. You do that well – and with our help. Then you step out of the way and let us get it done.

For me, that was good to hear! Since I am not perfect, I wanted to get the feedback on those items that are weak. Here is some of that feedback:

• Openly praise – I have struggled with this one for quite awhile. Which is no excuse. Giving praise for a job well done is a simple and effective necessity. I have gotten better! I used to say, we get a great paycheck at the end of the pay period. When we go above and beyond that – then you will get your praise. No more! I have made time to make sure that we discuss jobs well done – in public and private sessions.
• Career guidance – During my early days as a manager I used to spend plenty of time working with my team to insure that they are fulfilling their dreams toward their goals. We used to plot a path that worked with the employee and the company. Over time, our company moved to the employee owned their own employ-ability. Lost sight with keeping career guidance as a priority.

If any leader thinks that their strengths and weaknesses are NOT known – think again. Each and every person that you come in contact with – gets a dose of your strengths (and weaknesses). Better make sure that you know what they are.

Within this new role, I have had to:

• Set expectations - of the people interfacing with, those that help to provide, management team and myself.  Just like building the house, the foundation is a very important beginning!
• Set goals and time-lines- With this project it is temporary in nature – so setting goals and time-lines is going to be very critical for success. How would you know that you have met your expectations? Breaking a temporary assignment into chucks helps to make sure that your end goal happens on time. Far to often, people short projects get out of hand, due to lack of smaller goals.
• Listen, listen and listen some more - With any role that is relationship in nature.  Most people can hear, but few truly listen. Getting to the real information may not be the words that are spoken. It comes with the total package (words, tune, expression and deep understanding).
• Influence (Coaching) - Since no one really “works” for me, directing folks is not going to work. I have spent much of my career trying not to direct but coach folks to make their own decisions. Within this new role, I will have to really test out all that I have been doing for quite sometime.
• Making it Fun – No matter what you do, you must have some fun. Work can and should be fun. We spend more than enough time there…

So, what really has changed? Not much. Everything that I have learned, taught or experienced, I still get to do.

Photo by agilitynut via Flickr

Did you play youth sports? Did your kids play youth sports? If so, this post is for you. I want to address an issue that has been around much longer than we all care to say. For me, I participated in youth sports growing up; coached youth sports for over 25 years; sat on many youth sports organizational boards and have watched my two children play. I want to share my experiences and thoughts on how we bring back the “youth sports for the young player – only.”

As a player growing up, I had coaches that were in it to win it. They would do just about everything that they could to win. I am not a disgruntled ex-player, in fact I was an above average player in just about every sport I played. I was a three sport letter-man in high school. I was named to the all-state team for two sports. When you are a player growing up, you get lost in the moment of playing – you just don’t know any better. As time passes and you start to look back – you get a different view on what was going on. Not that I would trade anything, as all experiences have shaped the person that I am today.  Looking back, there were times when coaches were just flat out be abusive to players (physically and emotionally). Parents would car coach their kids – basically that coach knows nothing, do what I tell you. Other players would start to read their press clippings and forget that we play in a team sport. At the time, I did not notice or care - I just wanted to play and play well.

As a coach, I have spent over 25 years doing it, refining my style and trying to insure that I was making the overall experience positive for all involved. Early on, I used the role-model coaches I grow up with to shape my style. As time passed and I kept evaluating my progress – I knew I needed to change. Those that I learned from where not bad, just not what I wanted to be. Molding my style has been a life long process. One I have enjoyed. As the coach, besides the players you do have to interface with parents - either before or after games. Sometimes the interaction is a simple good job, the players played hard or tough lose.  There are times when the interaction will lead to a confrontation. Usually with a  parent(s) that want to criticize the coach, his tactics and his decisions. Coaches like to defend their position. If this happens after a tough lose, they could get ugly. What do you do? I would start off every season with a player and/or parent orientation meeting (sometimes together, sometimes separate) covering:

• The coaching staff’s philosophy and the tactics we are going to use.
• Ground rules for engagement – never before or after a game or practice (always a cooling off period). Contact me the next day.
• Never contact an assistant coach – come to me. I am the head coach, my responsibility.
• We are all here for one thing: improving every player; working hard and having fun!

When I was just dad in the stands, which was not often (I enjoyed helping out), I only came across some occasions where the parents were yelling back and forth at each other. Some times using profane language. Basically angry over something they have not control over. I read about the Pop Warner games that ended in fights from the parents. Or the hockey parent that hit another parent because that parents kid did something on the ice to his kid. Refs getting attacked during and after games.

I have held various positions on some youth organization boards. Those boards all have the best intentions – that is for the players. Everything is focused on the safety and well being of the players. The local youth board participants are parent and coach volunteers.  We all say that we are here for all players, but sometimes the actions do not match up to the overall intentions. I have watched some volunteers really work for what is best for their player(s) or team, rather than the league as a whole.

As I stated, I want to try to get back to “youth sports for the young player – only.” How do we do that? What will it take to make that happen? Especially in this overly competitive environment to get to become a professional athlete.

• For Governing Boards:
  • Larger governing boards need to continue to stress the players first and only. Some of them do an outstanding job of describing, sharing and teaching those principles. Where the it breaks is in the follow-up within the lower governing boards. Need to hold them accountable.
  • Lower governing boards need to monitor and fix situations that are out of hand, before they escalate out of control.
  • Board members – check you personal filters at the door. You are there for all players!
• For Coaches:
  • Vince Lombardi’s quote need not apply. This is youth sports. Winning is not the only thing. You are help teach your sport, help players get better, provide a positive experience and help with life lessons.
  • Set your season up for success for all participants. Orientation meetings, ground-rules, contact lists, practice plans and regular communications…
  • Be a positive role-model. Standing on the bench or in the dug out – yelling and screaming at the ref or players is just not good. It is extremely easy to get wrapped up in the moment – take a breathe and remember that it is still a game.
• For Parents:
  • You are a spectator first - watch the game. Cheer for you son/daughter, their team and any good play that happens.
  • Remember that your son/daughters coach is the coach. If you want to get involved in coaching – get trained and certified. There always will be room for a positive, knowledgeable coach on any team.
  • Support you son/daughter. They are trying their best to make you proud. They work hard for you – just as much as they do for the coach. I would argue more. Tell them that you noticed their hard work; keep it up; or even I am proud of how far you have come.
  • If the temptation to get aggressive with the ref or other parents hits you – step away, remove yourself from the situation. Nothing good can come from it.

Parents only want the best for the kids. No question! Sometimes the actions don’t quite line up. Those above are my thoughts, do you have any others? Please share!