As many know, I am a huge hockey fan… We are finally getting down the Stanley Cup Finals! The playoffs are something special and this season has been really special. My home town Phoenix Coyotes are making a run that the team has never made before. They are in the conference finals! 2 rounds further than ever before. Awesome stuff, when you think about it. Right now, no one is thinking about awesome. The team has hit its first patch of adversity. Not that they have had adversity this season – they still don’t have an owner, league run with financial restrictions, not overly talented compared to some teams that have already left the playoffs and the list can go on. They have continued to overcome adversity to make it where they are today. Now, they need to really pull out all stops to make sure that they can continue on their quest…  Let’s Go Coyotes!

Adversity is something that we all have witnessed throughout our daily life’s. What comes to mind when you hit that fork in the road, when the challenge is put in front of you? You have some options…

• You can charge ahead and dig deep to overcome! My favorite, by the way. Challenges are put in front of us everyday. I want them. I need them. I have always tried to make sure that, as a parent and a leader, I instill in my folks that they can overcome adversity – it requires work! Lots of it…
• Let it consume you. Ever witness this? It is that feeling of being overwhelmed so much that you just can not get started.
• Pass it off and blame others. More and more, I am witnessing folks fall into this trap. I’ll call it the entitlement trap. Instead of working hard to move forward, folks are side stepping it to let others deal with adversity. Ever see this in action? Bosses, that like to blame their team for failure. How about a parent that blames the teacher for their child’s poor grades? There are many examples..

For me, I am witnessing more and more folks choosing the third alternative. When I was growing up, I got instilled in me that hard work is what is needed to achieve your goals. Nothing will ever be handed to you. I bet we all think that way. Do our actions support that today. Something has changed. Did I “give” too much to my kids when they were growing up, so that they are falling into the entitlement trap? Are you doing that? Time for some self reflection on everyone’s part… We have to get back to HARD WORK = SUCCESS… I don’t think that I will see my hockey team roll over and just let adversity stop them from achieving their goals. They may not make it, but at least they are going to put the work in to TRY…

As a leader, you have to make sure that the message and the timing of the message line up. Think of your team, most of them want to know everything that is going on. They probably want to understand your take on it as well. So, what do you communicate and when? There is no way that you can do everything, every time. Just not possible. Thinking of communication I have always had a couple of priorities with my teams.

• Top priority usually is anything that is mission critical. The stuff that your team needs to know in order to accomplish their work. This is everything that will be necessary to get my team to perform at their best in their related job. Get it out there with a strong message and speed in mind.
• Most of secondary priority is that information that helps my team be an advocate for our organization. Think of it as the communications that helps build pride and morale while building our organizational story. Strong message that goes out when necessary, but quickly.

When I look at this deeper, it comes across that just about everything that I have ever communicated fits within these buckets nicely. As I am helping with coaching some new managers, I see this as a struggle for them. Too many mixed messages going out. Speed of the information is either too fast or most of the time, too late. As a leader, you have to make sure that you are taking into account the message and the timing that is necessary to make the message effective.

Lately, I have been watching others and seeing the struggles with timing. Most of the time, the communication has been late or missed the window. Your team is watching you! Get It Right!

I have worked for many teams and organizations. As a boss, I usually had two teams or organizations that I was a part of. Double the fun, double the experience. Looking back, I would like to share an experience that pretty much sums up my title, you get what you deserve. This example is not going to be a positive one. I find it easier to learn from the bad experiences. Those experiences really make me dissect the overall experience more that a positive experience. So, here goes the story…

One of the organizations that I worked in really was trying to do things better. The words used were very inviting – like innovation, creativity and accomplishing some amazing things. When the boss stepped in those were our marching orders. The leadership team would get together to figure out what change would be needed to make the words a reality. Set the roadmap for success. After a couple of years, the overall experience was we never did accomplish what was set out by the words. The actions were extremely different. The actions of the boss set the wheels of destruction from the beginning. We saw changes in the leadership team, that demonstrated that we really did not want change. Those leaders that had great results and scored well from their staff were basically replaced. New bosses came in. The organization was watching those new bosses to demonstrate the words. The boss at the top, was putting “their” stamp on their organization.  We had our marching orders and some new bosses to help us get there. Long story that I will make shorter. Their actions definitely did not match the words that we were trying to march to. What is needed to change, be creative and innovative? Take some informed risks, have you be more open and vulnerable as an organization and foster a culture that allows the words to flourish. Since the organization’s actions were to be risk adverse, structured and where vulnerability was used as a sign of weakness; it did not take long for the word to get out that we were not going to follow the marching orders that were given. As time went on, we learned that those new bosses were just like the overall boss. Not effective, demoralizing and wanted a culture of do as a say, never question.

What were the workers to do? We all adapted to the actions. For me, I would go back to my team and make sure that I was doing what was necessary for cultivating a healthy balance of the marching orders. I truly believed that if we were going to be successful that we had to be working that way. When it came time for our work to be placed in the front of the bosses… Well, here was the tricky part. We had to adapt to making sure that we were meeting the bosses hidden expectations too. Balance needed to be struck. Especially after the first time I presented and was slapped for being innovative, creative and using informed risk taking. We still wanted to accomplish amazing things, but needed to make sure that we were balanced.

Here comes the punch line – those bosses were finally noticed for what they really were. Many of them were replaced! They fostered a toxic environment and promoted those like themselves. Some of them as no longer bosses! Some are still bosses, but in smaller organizations to help them hopefully learn. In the end, they got what they deserved.

Key take a-ways:

• Words and actions must match.
• You want innovations and creativity – then you better let your folks take risk and be vulnerable with themselves. There is no weaknesses when you are being real.
• In the end – you get what you truly deserve.

Related articles

• Managing vs. Leading(stevebellnow.com)

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• Word for the Week: Accountability(stevebellnow.com)

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• Blinders On (stevebellnow.com)

From my background, I have done a lot of managing teams over my career. I even have taught “new” managers how to be successful. Since I am working with different organizations, I am witnessing struggles of managing and leading. I am pretty sure that many of the folks that I am interacting with are pretty good at managing. The part that I see is missing is around leadership. Managing and leading are two very different concepts and require different tactics. What are some of those differences? Using my experiences and interactions with the folks of the past couple of months, I believe there are many but three standout.

Change Your Frame of Reference: As a manager you are really following a prescribed path. That path maybe meeting critical deadlines, milestones or delivering on a roadmap. Whatever it is, it usually is already charted out and those that can manage their teams to accomplish that path, win. From my experience, I have been rewarded well, for what my team and I have accomplished. You must think differently when you are leading. Leadership has the task of setting that path and/or changing the momentum. Just look at when Steve Jobs came back to Apple – he really led Apple to the success we all see today. He came in and changed the momentum (bankruptcy to very financially successful). I have used many times in my teaching of new managers that being a good manager will amplify the momentum and bad managers will slow it down, but leadership can radically change momentum. I have heard from many that they tweak and fine tune the processes – that makes you a very good manager. You want radical change? You need a leader!

Story Time: Communication is a big difference between manager and leader. When you think of managerial communication, you first thoughts are around logical and precise. I bet you have heard the saying, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” Make that message clear, crisp and concise. Leadership communication is more about connecting with the folks at an emotional level. Okay, you are thinking this is too touchy feely. Well, maybe so. There are many examples out there that make a team do some extraordinary items that normally would not have happened without a strong leader communicating. When I was coaching sports teams, I would use stories that were real and timely for those players on my teams. Getting them fired up! I believe that is the same thing that has to happen when a leader is communicating, telling a story. How else are you going to make an emotional connection?

Your Teams Culture: There needs to be some working norms within a team. I see companies with their vision statements. I know of one organization that is the “new leader” is trying to change the culture of the organization with little success. Trying to manage the change in the culture. Not going to work. The best advice I received from a leader that I would follow anywhere is, “You want a certain culture, it is all about how you conduct yourself. Every single day.” It comes down to which actions and attitudes that I validate and reward. If you want something to continue – let people know that this is spot on (reward if necessary). For those actions and attitudes you don’t want – call them out as well!

For me, managing has become second nature. I can just about manage any team that is working on anything. What is important to me, is becoming a leader as well. Being that person that can step up and think differently, make a connection when communicating and leading by example. If I can do those things well, I feel the rest falls into place.

Yesterday, I was one of 1400 lucky individuals that attend an event that was for one persons account of his experience of having witnessed not one, but two, concentration camps as an Army officer that witness the effects of those camps. For 67 years he did not speak of his accounts. He did not tell his family. He is, Colonel Ed Shames a WW II United States Army Easy Company 506th P.I.R. 101st veteran. We were the first people to hear from him about his experience. He discussed with great pride his experiences of being part of the 506th start up! He easily could relive those days and share them with us, as if we were there. Colonel Shames shared his experiences with D-Day, where he received his battle field commission (the first person) and his other battlefield accounts. When it came time for him to discuss and describe what he stumbled on at Dachau, Nazi Germany’s oldest concentration camp, he struggled. He said that he, “witnessed something that no other human being should witness.” He went on to discuss some of what he saw, heard and smelled. This was not an easy thing for him to discuss. He stopped a few times to say, “I am not going to share some of the other things.” He had about 6 other items that he did not share. What he share, the crowd listened.

Overall a wonderful experience. The rail car out front and the story of its journey to Chandler. Listening to Colonel Shames and sharing it with 1400 in attendance. It was another experience around a point in history that we all should make sure we continue to share with the future generations – if to make sure that history will not repeat itself.

We must never forget.