I have been involved in youth sports for over 50 years. I was a youth player, parent, coach, referee, board member and now a grandparent! Does that make me an expert? Probably not, but I can safely say that I have seen a lot from my different vantage points. Here in Arizona, the school year is started for many students already and the state is starting to discuss high school football. So, this got me thinking about my experiences and what I have witnessed over the years….
Overall Parent Behavior – Despite our very best intentions, parents are not the best thing in youth sports. Yelling out to their children during the game. Trying to instruct the coaches or lobby for more playing time. Adding undo pressure onto your child to perform well. How about the few nightmare parents – those that get physical with players, coaches, refs and the opposing teams parents. The minority are the parents that just watch the children play, smile and say, “good job” after every game.
Coach Behavior – The leader of the team! Every coach wants to win. Every coach wants to teach his players to win and lose with sportsmanship and grace. Well, not every coach demonstrates those intentions. We have the overly aggressive in your face coach that yells and screams at his players. How about the coach that lets his/her players break from fairly play? The worst are the coaches that teach tactics of unfair play, but there are many that do not correct their players when the time is right. Winning at all cost coaches.
League Board Behavior – These are usually volunteers that help to run the league. Their intentions are to insure that the league is running smoothly and accordingly to USA sport standards (Little League, USA Hockey, whatever). As a board member, I watched other board members worry about their children and team only. Their actions were not in the best interest of the league, but only of their team.
Really want to know the players perspective on this? They truly hate it! I question that was asked of college athletes was very telling. The question was, “what was your worst memory from playing youth or high school sports?” Their overwhelming response was, “the ride home from games with my parents.”
I have struggled throughout my youth sports experiences at every level with making sure that I was doing the right thing. As a parent, I have yelled out instructions during games. I never stepped on a coach, as I have been one for many years. I have as a coach been extremely hard on my players. I had high expectations and sometimes did the wrong thing in certain situations. The comment from college athletes hits home… I bet that ride home sometimes was not good – especially when you are parent and coach! Later in my youth coaching career, I spent time in my orientation meetings with parents to make sure that we are not the bad behavior ones. It was a good reminder for me, my players and parents that we can only control ourselves. Set the best example that you can today!
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