Think about a time someone said “no” to you. Maybe you were interviewing for a job or a series of jobs that have come back with “no” all to often. How about you’re a consultant and have bid on a few projects and they said “no.” A project that you have been working on for months is about to end and your boss says, “we don’t need this anymore.” How do you feel about those? We have plenty of stuff to help us when we get a cut, we go for a band-aide. What do you reach for when you feel bad from rejection? The ice pack and chicken soup are not going to help you. Too many “no’s” and you may develop a complex.
Try these items:
Ask for Feedback: The best way to fully understand is to hear some feedback. Sometimes in our head we feel the reason is one thing, but until you get feedback you could be wrong.
Don’t be defensive: I know this one is very difficult. We all have been defensive a time or two. Being defensive really does not solve anything. Stops us from really working on a solution, improving our situation or maybe helping us to listen better in the future.
Push back your inner voice: We all have our inner voice that helps us with being self critical. Like having that angel and devil sitting on your shoulder telling your what you think you want to hear. Well, this is the time to push back on that inner voice. Best way to do that is put in writing your pros and cons. Listing out stuff has always helped me.
Keep marching on: If you have really taken the above to heart. You best keep your chin up and soldier on. If you want something bad enough, a few “no’s” along the way, should not stop you. Self confidence can get shaken if you let it. You just need to keep on heading toward your goals.
For me, I am hearing more “no’s” than I care to, but I can guarantee that it will never stop me. Keeping the focus on all the data and how I will use it in the future has always worked for me.
What has worked for you?